Conflict

I don’t know about you, but for me, the mere mention of the word “conflict” puts me into freeze mode. It’s not something I’m naturally good at handling, and in fact I’ve always done everything I could to avoid it. But the truth is, conflict is an inevitable part of life. As with so many other unfavorable emotional situations, the way we choose to deal with conflict is what determines how it will play out for us. When handled in an emotionally healthy way, conflict can actually be something with a positive outcome.

As I’ve mentioned before, in my first career I was an elementary school counselor, and I dealt with kid-sized conflict all the time. I often reflect back on how I tried to teach kids certain life skills - like handling conflict – and it really does make sense to consider that when applying things to my own life as an adult. We really do need sometimes to just go back to the basics. Like that well-known “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten” poster we’ve all seen. The nuts and bolts of what I taught kids were these main points:

• Conflict is a normal part of life. We have scheduling conflicts, conflicts of interest, conflicts with people we know and care about, or conflicts with people we don’t know but interact with – like a conflict in a parking lot where two people are trying to get the same parking spot.
• Conflict can be small, like a disagreement between friends on what game to play, or it can be very big, like a war. Regardless of whether it is on the playground or in another country, it effects us and also people around us. Sometimes it causes a ripple effect and can impact many, many others, so it is really important to know how to handle it in the best way possible.
• Just because we have a conflict with someone doesn’t mean it has to turn into a fight. It just means we have to try to find a solution or agree on something together. This is called compromise.
• It is ok to have conflicting opinions, and we can have friends who think differently than we do. This is called respect. I can have people that I love and care about who have different opinions than me on a wide variety of topics. Sometimes, if compromise isn’t possible, I can choose to just accept that everyone has their own right to believe what they want and agree to disagree.

The bottom line is, we can’t always avoid conflict. Regardless of whether it is halfway across the world or in our own home, conflict will always be present in our lives, so it is very important to understand it and have the tools to handle it when it does present itself. Take some time to consider your conflict skills and what you’d like to do differently or better. Taking a break from a situation, doing some deep breathing, and exercise are all good ways to practice self-care when dealing with the stress of conflict. Of course, our Two Sage Sisters element kits can be a great addition to your conflict resolution toolbox! We invite you to check them out here: www.twosagesisters.com

Energetically yours,